Written by Jack Battler
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Wednesday, 23 May 2007

image for Talking Animals to Start Political Party
Who speaks for us!

SESAME STREET - Talking animals across the United States have announced today their intention to start a political party based on the ideals and values of talking animals everywhere. A spokesbeing for the new Young Animals Party (YAP) said in a press release that there is a growing number of talking animals that are being under-represented in government and therefore pushed aside and forgotten.

"We are not asking for animal rights per se," said Big Bird, the tall yellow bird of Sesame Street fame. "We are just asserting our responsibility to represent ourselves as equally as we can in a world dominated by human beings."

Bird said the idea for YAP began in late January when several talking animals were together for an annual four-footed cribbage tournament in Fairbanks, Alaska.

"I don't recall who said it initially," Bird said. "But I was having a conversation about global warming with Smokey T. Bear, Barney T. Dinosaur and that little Gecko guy, I can never remember his name… from those TV commercials, when someone said, 'Who speaks for us!? Why don't we have our own party?'… from there the idea just grew. I mean when you look at those Coca Cola Polar Bears and how cute they are? Who is going to take their issues to Washington D.C.?"

McGruff the Crime Dog said he did not expect it to be easy to get a candidate on the ticket for the upcoming presidential elections but that perhaps with the right campaign push and enough advertising they might pull it off.

"We're thinking we have to go with a candidate that has enough popularity to get this thing rolling," McGruff said. "Believe it or not some of the talking animals you take for granted are very well educated… many even have doctorate degrees in various fields so we know we have the brainpower. We just need someone with TV appeal."

One possible candidate is the caveman from Geico's insurance ads.

"He is not technically an animal," McGruff said. "But he is not Homo sapien either, so we believe he may be the perfect transitionary candidate until people get used to the idea."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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