Written by Chuck Terzella
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Topics: Iraq, White House

Thursday, 29 January 2004

David Kay, Chief US Weapons Inspector, has blamed the Iraq War on a lack of adequate intelligence, namely George Bush's and his own, as well as every other official in the White House.

 

"I don't know why everyone is so surprised at my findings," a confused Mr. Kay told a Senate Panel, " I mean, ever since this guy (George Bush) took office, the whole world has been calling him stupid. Truth be told, he is stupid. So how can everyone act so shocked when they have it proven to them? This is a guy who was proud of the name Dubya for Christ sakes."

 

Colin Powell, who was once thought to be intelligent, had a darker outlook. " I think that Saddam did have a secret bio weapon... an idiot pill, that he was able to slip into the water supply of Washington and 10 Downing Street. This evil weapon made every one who was exposed to it think that George Bush knew what he was talking about. Homeland Security has had us drinking bottled water for a few weeks now and I think we're finally starting to get better."

 

Anonymous Administration source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse was quoted on deep background as saying, " Geez, it's like we're all finally waking up from a bad dream. Iraq, the missions to the Moon and Mars, Tax Cuts for the Rich, Compassionate Conservatism, all of it seemed so reasonable when Bush said it. I'm never drinking tap water again."

 

Ironically, the only people in Washington who seemed unaffected by the alleged "Bio Boob" chemical was the President and some members of his inner circle. Secretary Powell has hinted that studies conducted by the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Company have shown that the lower a persons original IQ, the less effect the weapon had. " George Bush, Donald Rumsfeld and John Ashcroft were barely affected.", said Powell, " but it will take me years to recover."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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