Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Sunday, 20 May 2007

image for Dick Cheney Admits He Uses Hookers
Cheney hangs his head in shame in a crisp, brilliant white shirt.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Vice President Dick Cheney has finally acknowledged that he has hired hookers in the past.

Cheney's shocking revelation was sparked after CBS Late Night host David Letterman had referred to the confidential news circulating that Cheney was a client of the Pamela Martin & Associates escort agency.

In his monologue Letterman had quipped, "Here's a story we're working on now. Apparently, there are rumors coming out of Washington that Vice President Dick Cheney uses prostitutes. I was thinking about this and Cheney…I mean, going to a prostitute, that's…I mean, I can't believe a good looking guy like that would ever have to pay for sex, you know what I'm saying?"

Cheney went on to describe how Disney-owned ABC News had caved on the DC Madam story under pressure from Cheney himself and his blackmailers, just like all the other neoconservative oriented media barons had.

"AIPAC and Mossad had obtained my telephone records to the escort agency, and forced me to start the illegal and immoral Iraq war, and also to threaten Iran with war based on lies also," Cheney confessed on Meet the Press, finally breaking down and sobbing. "I only used them once. I just wanted someone to iron my shirts and play leapfrog with!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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