In a stunning setback to the Bush administration's war efforts, every American soldier serving in Iraq is missing. Pentagon officials are at a loss to explain the disappearance.
"I'm sure we'll find them", said Defense Secretary Robert Gates. "This may be the work of Al Qaeda or Iraqi insurgents. We will fight this obvious act of terrorism with all our available resources".
Gates was tight lipped as to what resources the US military could have without soldiers.
Other unnamed Pentagon officials think there is a more mundane explanation for the soldiers disappearance.
"I think they just got sick of the war and left", said an unnamed Rear Admiral, communications director for Multinational Force Iraq.
American soldiers have complained of bad food, poor drinking water, unfit sanitary facilities, overheated tents, constant illness, no sex, no contact with loved ones and the constant threat of imminent death among other things. No amount of military brainwashing seems to have enabled the soldiers to enjoy these circumstances. It is rumored that some soldiers were in Paris, Amsterdam, Munich and other European cities. President Bush was outraged at the possible acts of treason.
"I sincerely hope to find all our troops alive and healthy", Bush said. "And if they are, they will be tried for desertion and executed".
A Spoof reporter managed to locate one of the missing soldiers sitting with two beautiful ladies at an outdoor cafe in Paris. "Give me a call when the war's over", the soldier said with a smile.
Meanwhile, in downtown Baghdad, a bomb exploded. No one was killed or injured.