Although Paris Hilton seduced a healthy number of people, estimated to be 30,000 signatures, to appeal to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger for a pardon, it seemed to be a case of, too little too late. When questioned about the Hilton plea for leniency Schwartznegger said, "I've got a state to run, besides how would it look if I let some air headed celebutant run free?"
Sources close to Paris divulged she's apprehensive about how she'll be received by, check forgers, murderers, drug addicts, street walkers, etc. etc. etc. Paris has come up with what seems to be a fool proof plan to avert any misunderstanding that could possibly arise during her incarceration.
First, Paris plans to deposit $500.00 on every inmates book.
Second All the current inmates will be supplied with Sherosky crystal cell phones with unlimited calling worldwide.
Third, Paris is smuggling in copious amounts of opiated drugs, enough to sedate the entire facility, including staff for the duration of her stay. Paris will, of course, be the most sedate of them all.
Forth, Paris has commissioned, Mars Candy, to model a solid chocolate candy bar with a sweet center modeled after adult film star, Lexington Steele. The chocolate bars will be in vast supply during her stay.
Sources close say, "She figures how mean can girls get with, bank accounts, Sherosky incrusted cell phone, medication and phallic shaped chocolate penetrators?
When Paris was asked about these allegations all she said was, money talks, BS walks.
The facility Paris is to be incarcerated is currently called, Century Regional Detention Facility.
The Los Angeles city council has had, behind door meetings, .debating whether to formally change the name to: "THE PARIS, HILTON".
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert