WASHINGTON, D.C. - To stem the tide of support for the one Presidential candidate who makes sense, Congressman Ron Paul, several state Republican Party rulers are trying to ban common sense from the debates. By writing a rule against common sense, Ron Paul would have to be excluded from the debates.
"I am leaning towards more of a bikini contest type format," exclaimed Michigan Republican Party Chairman, Saul Anuzis. Saul Anuzis continued, "I think we should have the candidates dress in speedos and nothing else, and then we can ask them things like what their favorite color is, what flavor of ice cream they like most, and who their favorite musician is."
The rule that Republican Party leaders are pushing for calls for banning common sense from the debates, and reads as follows:
"As evidenced by our failure to control the FOX network's own poll, with Ron Paul coming in second, it is imperative that we take measures to stop common sense immediately. Common sense can be defined as, but not limited to, being in favor of peace instead of blood and death, being in favor of the Constitution instead of fascism, and supporting the rule of law instead of worshiping President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney."
Republican Party strategist, Faye Kerr, said during a press conference: "It is important to establish a litmus test that requires stupidity, pomposity, and hostility towards the Constitution. This would effectively help us get rid of the last sane person running for President, Congressman Ron Paul."