London, England - Russian and US relations have cooled down to the point that many have openly speculated that we are in the midst of entering a new cold war, if we have not already. Comments from Russian President Putin bore that out when in a recent speech he referred to President Bush as a military aggressor comparable to the Third Reich. After a meeting with Condoleezza Rice yesterday, however, Putin says he will tone down the cold war rhetoric.
It was all a misunderstanding claims a spokesman for Rice, "Putin explained to Condoleezza that he had been watching American TV news outlets in order to brush up on his English, and he merely got caught up in the vernacular of the heavily biased leftwing media used to describe Bush's foreign policy."
Reportedly, Putin had no idea the American media was allowed to speak their minds so freely. Being so susceptible as they are in his country to shootings, poisonings and high questionable disappearances.
Rice went out of her way to assure the world that neither country is interested in a new cold war or arms race, "Quite frankly because neither country can afford it at this time," said spokesmen for Rice. "Perhaps later when the world economy picks up again," he added optimistically.
At the worst, either country could afford is a small arms race, which military experts agree the US would win hands down, judging from the number of college campus shootings and 'gunman on campus' unannounced drills in elementary schools it has every year.