Written by Baron the Dog
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Topics: Rudy Giuliani

Thursday, 17 May 2007

image for Giuliani was Mayor on 9/11
Giuliani

The question on everyone's mind since September the 11th has been: Who was that courageous mayor that saved the city? No one had taken credit for saving New York City in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks on the World trade Center Towers. Like Superman this lone hero preferred anonymity to fame and fortune as a hero. But out of necessity Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani finally took off the mask, and revealed that he was the hero of 9/11.

The revelation came Tuesday night at the Republican Debates when Giuliani came face to face with one of America's worst enemies: Dr. No. Dr. No is a Republican Congressman that many in the party feel secretly works for a sinister terrorist organization called the Democrats. Dr. No has repeatedly denied these accusations but Tuesday night he finally revealed his true colors as an anti-American terrorist by proclaiming that U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East might have angered some Muslims. This blatant lie threatened the very existence of America, and Giuliani knew that he must do something.

"I could see that this man was pure evil," Giuliani told this reporter. "I knew that he had to be stopped."

Following Dr. No's insidious and unpatriotic remark, the man they call Rudy lashed out deflecting Dr. No's attacks away from the gathered freedom loving audience. Rudy then revealed to the evil Doctor that he, Rudy Giuliani, was in fact the hero of 9/11. A hushed shock fell over the crowd as Dr. No seethed with anger. "You will pay for this Mr. Mayor!" hissed the Doctor. Rudy leapt to grab the evil villain, but Dr. No slithered away and escaped.

Sources in the Pentagon believe that Dr. No has joined his long time ally Obama bin Laden in a cave in Pakistan. When asked if Rudy would go after the Doctor, the heroic Mayor replied "Right now it's more important to focus on the graver threat to our National Security…the Democrats."

After almost 6 years of hiding his identity, Rudy Giuliani has finally revealed that he is in fact America's Mayor, the hero of September 11th. He vowed that he will not rest until the enemies of America have been destroyed, most notoriously, Hillary Clinton.

Following the revelation several people came up to shake Rudy's hand, but the mayor was having none of it. "I'm no different than anyone else," he said. "I just happened to be Mayor on that tragic day. The real heroes are the firefighters and the rescue workers." His modesty is a model to us all.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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