Las Cruces, New Mexico - (Ass Mess): Somebody in Las Cruces sure hates felines. Loathes and detests them enough to ensure that eighty three of the wee little fellers housed in a couple of run down vans suddenly fried alive when an electrical 'accident' became an inferno that rapidly cooked the cats to charcoal.
Police have yet to release the name of the woman who kept the animals in her makeshift refuge. She herself escaped unharmed while her live-in companions perished within minutes.
Authorities said the woman had suspect wiring installed in the vehicles that may have been tampered with by somebody not as enamoured of the creaters as she:
"We're looking for a typical cat-hating individual, maybe a dog lover, maybe an pet-phobe, or perhaps just some kids with lighter fuel and a box of matches wanting to see what fried cats would look like."
The woman who also lived in the structure that was said to be only covered by a tarp is now homeless and bereft.
Meanwhile at The Spoof local Las Cruces resident Mr Jal A Peno said today:
"I have a dog. The dog gets ticks, but I deal with those. I walk him and feed him. Sometimes I even bathe him. We get on fine on a one to one.
"But the wife has a cat who's always out to get me.
"Just don't expect to get any sympathy out of me on that dumb fried cat story about the old woman downtown.
"I hate cats!"