Written by Warren Redlich
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Sunday, 13 May 2007

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Surveillance Photo of Terror Suspect

Two of the terror suspects in the recent FBI sting operation confessed today, admitting to various plans to conduct terror attacks and also to the substantial steps they had taken towards carrying out their plots. The two, who are brothers, asserted that all of the Kevin Federline publicity had driven them over the edge.

In their sworn confessions, Dritan and Shain Duka, said that they were generally dissatisfied with America for a number of reasons, including the hatred of freedom, democracy and Jews that is common among terrorists.

But the turning point for these two, and for their cohorts, was when Britney Spears married Kevin Federline. "It just shows how corrupt your culture has become," the elder Dritan Duka handwrote in his statement, "that such a pure and wholesome woman as Britney would marry a pig-dog Jew bastard like K-Fed."

Shain Duka's statement mirrored his brother's: "With ugly Jews like Federline stealing all the best women, this country is obviously going down the drain. We had to do something to stop it."

The two, along with the other members of the Fort Dix Six, will be arraigned in Cherry Hill Municipal Court on Tuesday, May 15, 2007.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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