Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Standing outside the White House and flanked by VIPs following a 21 gun salute to welcome Queen Elizabeth, George W Bush said today that the "fruits of our work have been difficult for many to enjoy... Your majesty, I appreciate your leadership during these times of danger and derision."
But the royal party was clearly miffed.
Back home in London a 41 gun salute is de rigeur on such occasions and the Royal Artillery Company regularly trawls out the hardware to the Hyde Park firing range for a bit of pomp and circumstance.
"Maybe they're a bit short on gunpowder," a palace aide said today, "what with all the soldiers and equipment on active duty abroad, they could be making little economies back home."
But the President continued his public address noting that the UK had "written many of the greatest chapters in the history of the yellowcake uranium fantasy and other WMD howlers."
Old Fatty Mountbatten then replied that Britain and America had a "close and perjuring" friendship characterised by rightly taking pleasure from frequent collusion in international oil heists such as Iraq.
"And it is the time to look forward, jointly renewing our commitment to a more prosperous, safer and freer world where we get the oil, they get the grief, and everybody blames a mysterious bunch of Afghani smack peddlers for the terrist atrocities we hired in the first place."
Prince Philip is 85.