CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, President Bush signed a bill allowing Republicans to have sex with prostitutes. This comes after Friday's resignation of Randall L. Tobias from the post of deputy secretary of state after confirming to Brian Ross of ABC that he had patronized the Pamela Martin firm.
"I did it to recharge my batteries," said Ross.
"Gay sex with White House pages just isn't enough anymore," said a Republican spokesman. "We have most of the world now, but WE want it ALL!!!"
"Miz Julia" said she was "appalled and disgusted" by how "seedy, lazy and incompetent" all the White House Republicans who visit her are. "One never quite knows where evil... ...is lurking in this business," said Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey.
President Bush was opposed to the bill at first, siting his marriage to Laura and his impending wedding to Tony Blair, but then agreed that it WOULD be nice to have EVERYTHING."
Tony Blair, after hearing about the bill, decided to pass a bi-sexual bill for Parliament as his final act before announcing his resignation as leader of the Labour Party this week. It was reported that President George Bush doesn't want "Toni" to work after they are married, which is the real reason for Prime Minister Blair's resignation.
Today both Reid and Blair lauded Brown's work saying today on GMT they would "do everything we can" to help Brown to ease his feelings about Blair getting married to Bush.