Washington, D.C. - Though he has made it clear he has no intention to seek the Republican nomination for the White House in 2008, Vice President Cheney announced today that there is one job that he would accept without hesitation: Postmaster General of the United States.
"My two favorite pastimes are stamp collecting and hunting. If that does not qualify me for the job, I don't know what does. Going postal is just in my blood. I shot that lawyer down in Texas without even trying. If I intentionally went on a rampage, I would be unstoppable."
President Bush agreed that Cheney would be an excellent Postmaster General. "Dickey will do a heckuva job in the capacity of Postmaster Genital", the president said as he spoke to reporters from the White House Rose Garden.
White House Correspondent