It is now strongly recommended that everyone stay out and away from the department store known as "Target." Experts agree that these stores are owned and operated by terrorists.
One expert commented: "The terrorists of these stores are devious. They thought that by making something so obvious, and putting it right under our noses, that we wouldn't notice it. They were mistaken. Target is exactly what it claims to be: the target. It is the target for all their terrorist ideas including brainwashing and weapon creation; and as soon as the store has completed these treacherous acts, Target literally becomes the target for weapons of mass destruction to strike, specifically at the giant logo above the main entrance."
The president of the United States has now declared Target as a terrorist organization, and forbids any citizens from entering the store. This also creates many problems, because it has become a sanctuary of cheap merchandise and sleeping quarters for illegal Mexican immigrants, who are willing to fund the company for bargain prices.
"We are not breaking the law!" says one illegal. "President Bush stated that citizens may not enter this shop, but we are not citizens!"
It is reported that President Bush realized that this was a silly mistake and he should have thought of how to phrase his words better, but failed to realize they were breaking the law simply by being there.
It is now considered an act of treason to enter a kilometer radius of a Target department store, and citizens will be informed of the best course of action at a later date.