Written by bunny
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Topics: Michael Moore

Friday, 23 January 2004

In one of the biggest twists of the year writer and producer Michael Moore and General Wesley Clarke have been accused of attempting to rig the presidential election.
Clarke standing as a candidate, and Moore his most vocal backer have been accused of trying to get middle America to vote. Karl Rowe, filling the suit, issued the following statement from the Whitehouse

"As some of you, hopefully not all of you, will know the presidential election will take place in December. Messer's Moore and Clarke have clearly tried to rig the election in such a way as to make sure my mate Georgie doesn't get back in. This great democratic nation of ours should not tolerate people like Moore publicly supporting likeable blokes like Clark. How the hell is George supposed to beat him?
Its not like those democrat candidates, their easy to deal with, Dean will explode sometime in September and we'll have the others disappear in late October. Clarke however is a real problem, as Donald would put it, a known unknown. We know he exists but we don't know whether he could win. Given the angelic manner in which President Bush won the Whitehouse, it is inconceivable that he could lose it too a genuine candidate. The supreme court have been informed that Mr Moore did this month publish on his website a list of reasons why Clarke would be an excellent president. As we have been unable to find anyway in which his claims can be discredited we are left with no choice but to keep them both locked up until after the election. We would like to make clear that this is in no-way undemocratic, these two men offer a real and serious threat to our nation and to the world as a whole. If they were to succeed, the war on terror would be halted, we'd loose all of Iraq's and Afghanistan's oil, the Saudi royal family would no-longer be our Friends and Ken Lay would stop giving us money. So you see my republican friends we could no-longer satisfy our greed, we may even have to contemplate helping Blair rig the general election over the pond; in return for GM crops and an easing of pollution controls of course. The administration would like to take this opportunity to warn our fellow Americans that these evil men have many followers who may still choose to vote. You must to everything in your power to stop anyone voting democrat!"

An article in the New York times confirmed the arrest of Moore and Clarke, with the author David Frum claiming gleefully "they've been shipped to Cuba where they shall rot until either they die, or our friends at Mossad run out of Arabs to torture."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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