Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Senator Hillary Clinton's public image is set to be shredded in a new biography by celebrated Watergate expose journo Carl Bernstein.
His five year research project claims to have unearthed incontrovertible proof that the former First Lady knew about her husband's serial philandering with Gennifer Flowers.
And that she first found out that Bill's real father is UK style guru (sic) Sir Terence Conran when her brother, Hugh Rodham, fatally shot and wounded singer Michael Jackson whose body he buried near the old Rose Law Firm's former premises in Litle Rock, Arkansas.
Bernstein's tome then describes how Bill Clinton did a deal with George Bush Junior by agreeing to Bush's bastard son by Bianca Jagger to stand in as a doppelganger lookalike plant to impersonate Jackson, take over his fortune and carry on his music career 'as if nothing had happened except his skin turning from brown to white'.
Bernstein savages Hillary's political aspirations as 'one helluva bi-partisan whitewash'.
But he also crows that her fate was sealed on the day she gave birth to Karl Rove's lovechild, the Californian photographer at the center of the Anna Nicole Smith baby paternity/custody case Larry Birkhead.
The Bernstein biography is to be published with a complete array of photographs, original birth certificate authentications and pre-Alberto Gonazales shreddings of Justice Department records and their ourginal NATO counterparts.
A movie deal is also rumored to be in the pipeline.