Written by Mathmission
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Topics: Art, painting

Sunday, 29 April 2007

image for Postmodern Painting Sells for 5.12m
Yellow ladder against black wall - $2.8m (actual cost $20 for the ladder, $10 for the paint)

New York - Today marked a huge step forward in the postmodern art community. During a silent auction, the well respected and widely popular postmodern painting "Anguish" sold for just over 5 million USD.

Marko Man-Marko, the artist who created the masterpiece, declined to comment, stating that any comment he made would be interpreted intertextually, and not fully understood by most.

The painting, a 70 foot by 30 foot white rectangle with a single black stroke through the middle, struck the art community in awe in its 2005 release. Since then, conceptual postmodern art has been considered on the rise. Man-Marko has lead the way for such up and coming postmodern artists as U.H. Commings, artists responsible for the single dot 2 inch by 2 inch napkin.

"Postmodern art is on the rise," comments Commings. "The world may not be ready for our outlandish way of thinking, but some day these plebs will have to accept it." Commings, artist and professional banjo player, resides between 114th street and Main, depending on the weather.

Most of the population was stunned to hear the news of the paintings 5 million purchase. "It boggles the mind," said Tyler Harris, a news paper distributor for the Pitch. "I can hardly afford to by a taco tonight for dinner, and there's someone here in this city that just paid five million bucks for a 2100 square foot smear of paint. I tell ya somewhere, Michelangelo is rolling in his grave."

"That's the best thing about postmodern art," further commented Commings, "it doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't even matter if it's good. Nothing matters when postmodernism is considered, as long as you call it postmodern. It's the back door into elevated social status."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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