WASHINGTON- "E.T.---go home."- Documents obtained from a break-in at the CIA reveals that George W. Bush is the son of a Martian and Barbra Bush.
A stunned America woke up to the news today that the incumbent President, George W. Bush, is now disqualified from the U.S. Presidency.
A stipulation in the U.S. Constitution states that anyone who runs for President must be a natural born U.S. Citizen. While George W. Bush was born in Texas, he was not naturally born.
In a secret document that George the Elder kept while head of the CIA, it was revealed that Barbra Bush, mother of George W., was abducted by Martians during an alien visit during the 1940's and kept in a barn with some cows for over ten years. The intimate coupling resulted in George W.
"You think I'd ever have sex with Barbra?" said an exasperated George the Elder.
Many are now pointing to this as the reason as to why the President is so adamant about the United States' Mission to Mars---he wants to find his real father.
Solons and the Congressional leadership are now in a heated wrangle in trying to determine the validity of Mr. Bush's Presidency.
Meanwhile, in related news, other documents have surfaced indicating that Senator John Kerry was born in Vietnam, not in Michigan. Debates are continuing.