In a bid to recover media attention that he's lost since placing third in Iowa, Democratic Presidential candidate Howard Dean had his right hand whacked off.
"I want to show people that I'm serious and willing to do whatever it takes to win my party's nomination-YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"
When asked if this stunt may plant the question of his sanity in the mind of possible voters, Dean says he fully supports the right of the bod-mod (body modification) crowd.
"People with tats, piercings, gauge ear rings, metal implants and teeth filings have the same rights as you and I. The bod-mod crowd is, I believe, a large untapped market of serious young voters, and I'm going after 'em-YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!"
When further pressed to explain the senility of his actions, and asked whether he or a trained surgeon cut it off, he burst into a rendition of the Star Spangled Banner slurring through the words he wasn't quite sure of.