CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - White House Psychiatrist, Peter Bourne, examined the video, Bush V Bush on YouTube and determined that he has dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder.
"It's obvious that he has at least two separate personalities running around in that body of his. After discussing the problem with my associates, we believe that one of the personalities may be Satan himself," said Bourne.
Bourne doesn't know if there is any treatment that can cure President Bush, nor does he know if the president would even consent to treatment. "It's a tough situation," said Bourne. "Insisting that he have treatment could cause him to push the BIG button, and none of us want that. Surviving a nuclear winter could be tough."