CCN (Crazy Cal News) - West Virginia - Ex-private Jessica Lynch admitted during testimony, "I'm no hero. I'm just a nappy headed ho."
She said that all the stories of her bravery and heroism in Iraq were "utter fiction," and that the real heroes were the people who served with her who died. Her military chiefs portrayed her as a gritty heroine who was only captured after putting up a hell of a fight during a gunfight during which she was shot and stabbed.
"My parents were hearing the story that I was this little girl Rambo from the hills of West Virginia who went down fighting. But it wasn't true," said Jessica. "They just wanted an excuse to make the war look good. It was just a deception. Now I'm back in West Virginia looking for Cal-el."
TheSpoof.com reporter CalJennings said that his friend, Cal-el is not available and doesn't know what he would do with a nappy headed ho anyway.