Earlier today Democratic candidate Barack Obama, held an interview with members of the Democratic party at a secrete location in BFE Washington with support from the Hollywood Liberal Association (a well known celebrity organization) to discuss Bush's plan of a New World Order.
Tom Cruse started the opening of the event with a short Scientology prayer followed up by a reading from the Vagina Monologues. Actors Alec Baldwin and Janeane Garofalo took center stage and presented Obama with the prestigious 'Token Minority Award' for his outstand public presence on part of the Democratic Party.
Obama made two claims, first that "A new world order is not what we need, we need one world government to control every aspect of the people because, they cannot live without our control." Secondly, "microchips are too costly and cumbersome to implant into every American citizen, and that they might become a contamination risk to the planet after that citizen is buried". He said, "It would just be easier to tattoo barcodes on them, it worked with the Jews in Germany, it will work again now." His solutions were accepted with extreme applause.
I risked life and limb smuggling myself in under one of Rosie O'Donnell's plump extremities to bring this story to you.