CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, President Bush had a Texas style showdown with House and Senate Democrats.
Sporting his pearl handled six-shooters, President Bush said, "Instead of fashioning a bill I could sign, the Democratic leaders chose to further delay funding our troops, and they chose to make a political statement," Mr. Bush said Tuesday morning before leaving for New York to meet his gay fiance' Tony Blair.
"That's their right. But it is wrong for our troops and it's wrong for our country. Don't you know that if you shut down just one unit at an oil refinery it costs alot of money? Every hour a unit at an oil refinery is shut down could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. How am I gonna' git richer that way? It costs alot of money to start a New World Order like my daddy wants. Besides, I need new 1000 count sheets for my bed. I already slept on them once."
President Bush threatened to have all Democrats, Libertarians, and Independants locked up as "unlawful enemy combatants."
"What's most troubling about Senator Reid's comments yesterday is his defeatism," said Mr. Cheney. "And the timetable legislation that he is now pursuing would guarantee defeat.
"Maybe it is a political ejacalation," said President Bush, "The Democart's just don't think like us gud Republicrats. Like Mr. Chainy sed, there problem is defeatism. If you think with defeatism, you're gonna' be defeated. That's why I can't win this war on terrerism in Iraq. The defeatist are gettin' us defeated."
The House speaker, Nancy Pelosi, said, "For the first time, the president will have to face up, will have to be accountable for this war in Iraq, and he doesn't want to face that reality."
President Bush responded, "What do I need with Democarts reality? I have my own reality. If it's good enuff for daddy, it's good enuff for me."