Melbourne, Florida - (Ass Mess): It's the old battle of the sexes rearing its ugly once again as a New Jersey physician found out last weekend after advice from colleagues in how to succeed with the opposite sex went horribly awry.
Dr Raymond Adamcik and pals were out partying last Saturday night in fancy dress that was clearly designed to impress the ladies.
Or maybe not.
Adamcik was clad in a Captain America costume that clearly didn't show off his best credentials.
So he took his pals' advice and stuffed a burrito down the Spandex tights enveloping his manhood.
"On any other night, maybe in Brooklyn or a club in Queens, they'da been queing up for a chance to nuzzle," a witness recalled.
"But here in Melbourne at the On Tap Café the outfit was maybe, ya kow, a little outre for the locals."
Adamcik and chums made a beeline for the bar where a bevy of pretty women were sitting drinking slammers.
"Something musta then just gotten into his head," the eyewitness continued, "because he manhandled one of the ladies in an intimate way and asked if she fancied a mouthfull of his spicy Mexican delicacy.
"When the cops arrived he sure was pissed!"
Adamcik's woes continue this week as friends of the aggrieved lady threatened to post a video of the incident on the YouBoobed site.
"So gross! So tacky! And him claiming to be a gynecologist and all."