Written by Zander Kaufman
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Topics: Police, Iowa

Thursday, 22 January 2004

Council Bluffs, Iowa-- Robert Walker, a local man, today got the attention of local police when he called 911 and told the operator that he found an atomic bomb in his backyard, while mowing his lawn. When the operator asked why he was mowing his lawn in the middle of January, he did not have an answer.

When Council Bluffs police arrived at the home of Walker, they found him washing the roof of his home with a hundred pound bag of oxeye clean, and he had carved the name NED in his chest with a wooden hooking spoon.

When officer Fred Clank approached the home, Walker immediately jumped off the roof. Clank felt moved to remark: "the bastared moved just like Spiderman"

Walker ran several blocks before Clank caught up with him. It is said that he is currently brandishing a stick horse in the city park. The five hour standoff has yet to end ------more details as they come forth

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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