Written by Breeze
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Tuesday, 24 April 2007

image for Texans make better Godbotherers says Christ.
Mrs P Bigot at the local Texan bake sale

Yup, it seems that those good ole boys down Texas way have an edge over the rest of us when it comes to being a Christian.

Recently returned, Son of God, Jesus Christ has revealed exclusively to the Spoof that 'Texans do it better!'

In a telling interview, the Son of Man has claimed:

Texans make the best Christians because of their gung-ho attitude and inability to reason things out for themselves.

George Bush was chosen by God to lead the free world because of his gung-ho attitude and inability to reason things out for himself.

Texas state legislature which permits the execution of mentally retarded black people is in keeping with Christ's teachings and demonstrates an understanding of 'forgiveness' and 'cultural tolerance'

Naturally, residents of the Lone Star State are thrilled to be picked as 'The chosen People' and have wasted no time in rubbing everybody else's face in it.

"Yeeeeehaaa," said one brain dead yokel as he blew his weeks paycheck on bullets, "Jebus said we wuz the best an' that's good enough fer me! Aye is gonna shoot me some non-believers!"

Christ's message, claiming that Texans are the chosen people, has provided a huge boost to the Texan tourist industry, with thousands of wheelchair bound vegetables visiting the Alamo every day and dribbling over it's sacred soil in the hope that it will somehow help them get up and dance a tango.

In addition, Bowie knifes and pearl handled six shooters have shot up in popularity and replaced the crucifix as a religous icon.

Some unbelievers have, however, denied the veracity of Christ's return, claiming that the true Son of God would not have 'a distinct Texan twang or appear from Heaven wearing cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat.'

It has also been claimed that Jesus would not refer to other religions as 'Goddammed, motherfuckin' piece of shit sumbitches."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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