Written by Felix Minderbinder
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Sunday, 22 April 2007

image for Bush Promotes Alberto Gonzales to Capo
"Vito" Gonzales, now a Capo

WASHINGTON (AP) - President George Bush has promoted Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to Capo from his less prestigious Consigliere position in a major show of support for the embattled but loyal member of the Bush Cosa Nostra family. The move follows the interrogation of Gonzalez before the Senate Judiciary Committee where he gave a dismal performance.

Gonzales has loyally spearheaded the systematic onslaught by the Bush Administration against democratic rights and constitutional processes on behalf of rich oil executives and the military-industrial complex. Bush likes to call Gonzales "Vito."

Gonzales appeared before the committee after weeks of public criticism of his firing of eight US attorneys, nearly one tenth of all federal prosecutors across the US in a politically motivated purge. The eight prosecutors were all Republicans appointed by Bush in 2001, yet they were fired by Gonzales as he admitted "because they had prosecuted Republicans on various corruption charges or failed to prosecute Democrats."

Gonzales indicated that the Bush White House sought to instigate bogus prosecutions of "vote fraud" before both the 2004 and 2006 elections to intimidate opponents and reduce the Democratic vote.

Chief White House political hack Karl Rove has revealed that he is preparing an even more ambitious campaign to influence the result of the 2008 presidential election, and had ordered Gonzales to get compliant prosecutors in place. Hence the dismissals in the key states New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Washington, Michigan and Arkansas, as well as in northern and southern California.

As White House Mafia consigliere, Gonzales wrote the guidelines endorsing torture of prisoners captured in the bogus "war on terror" while dismissing provisions of the Geneva Conventions. As attorney-general, he approved the illegal surveillance of telephone and e-mail communications of millions of Americans.

The AG appears unlikely to survive the current controversy, as White House officials who spoke to the media after the hearing described his appearance as "going down in flames," "extremely troubling," and like watching someone "being clubbed like a baby seal."

Yet as a newly appointed Capo in the Bush crime family, Gonzales now has more muscle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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