(Have A Hart Bidg., DC) -- US Attorney General & Longtime Bush Yes Man Alberto "Speedy" Gonzales, faced withering criticism today from Republican members of the Senate Judiciary & Public Floggings Committee.
Beginning with Ranking member Arlen "Single Bullet Theory" Specter (R-PA), Republican members took turns giving Gonzo the rhetorical equivalent of a wedgie with pink belly. "You say you prepared for today? Like you prepared for the press conference when you said the sky was blue? What's that? I can't hear you," importuned Specter.
"The truth? You can't handle the truth!~" bellowed Sen Foghorn Leghorn (R-AL).
"You should just resign b*tch!" added the Senate chaplain.
There wasn't much left for Democrats to do but help Gonzo to his feat to face the next body blow. Chairman Pat Leahy (D-VT) offered to bear Gonzo's cross when he fell the third time. Sen Ted Kennedy (D-MA) asked Gonzo to try not to bleed all over my ah milkshake."
Generalissimo Gonzales replied, "I do not recall." 45 times.