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Friday, 20 April 2007

image for Alberto Gonzales Called A Greasy Wetback
Attorney General Gonzales eyes the wimpy senators

WASHINGTON D.C.--(NOBSDCNOOZ) Attorney General Alberto Gonzales insisted yesterday he had only a small role in the dismissal of eight federal prosecutors. Disbelieving senators reacted calling the Attorney General a "greasy wetback". "You don't want to quarrel with me, puto," Gonzales replied after Specter asked again whether his was a fair, honest characterization. Gonzalez eyed the panel of faggot senators seated at the inquisition. "You 're lucky I don't go over there and slice your balls off...if you had any, cabrones!"

"We have to evaluate whether you are really being forthright," Sen. Arlen(e) Specter bluntly informed the nation's chief law enforcement officer. Gonzalez volleyed back, "Jew know, that lipstick don't do nothing for your eyes, Fairy Queen ." The exchange punctuated a long morning in the witness chair for Gonzales, who told the committee there was no impropriety in last years firings and the decision was "justified and should stand without any interference from you, Pansy vatos."

Gonzales agreed that "reasonable people might disagree, To them I say, Cha-leh with the decision." He said the process by which the U.S. attorneys were dismissed was "nowhere near as rigorous or structured as it should have been if I hadn't lit that roach." Offering an apology to the eight and their families, he also said he had "never expected to mislead or deceive the Congress or the American people on that or any other matter. It just turned out that way, you desgraciados. If things are so bad go down to McDonalds...there looking for french fry cooks right now!"

White majority Democrats, also, expressed skepticism at the attorney general's testimony. "Since you apparently knew little about the performance about the replaced U. S. attorneys, how can you testify that the judgment ought to stand?" asked Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass. "That's because I have ESPn & jew don't. That what makes me Attorney General and jew, a honkey-donkey, cara de rana, hijo de su siete madres, pasty-skinned Senator from Mass-a-Harina!." Gonzales replied.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., asked Gonzales whether he had reviewed the evaluation records of the dismissed prosecutors, who Justice Department officials fired for inadequate performance. "Look Diane Frankenstein. Shouldn't you be in the restroom cleaning the toilet, or maybe in the kitchen making me a lunch of Huevos Rancheros and frijole with machaca, ...if jew want me to bang jew tonight.!?" Dianne caught off guard by his remarks, ran to the Senate building's kitchen to russell up Gonzales's lunch.

Turning his attention now to the panel he said, "The moment I believe I can no longer be effective, I will resign as attorney general," Gonzales added, after first making it clear to the panel and informed them. "If you want me to bang your culos tonight. You better join the muchacha in the kitchen, Vamonos! And with a wave of his hand the nelly-queers got up from their chairs and skipped to the kitchen as fast as they could.

The Attorney General surmised the meeting in one word, "Putos!"

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