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Thursday, 19 April 2007

image for Zero Premium Life Policy Launched in West Virginia
Janet Sutton using a borrowed cellphone.

Wheeling,WV (AP) The long awaited launch of the latest type of life insurance has finally arrived. This morning, at Wheeling Elementary School, Fifth grader Janet Sutton made the announcement.

"It is time to get free stuff," Sutton said, as she munched on a piece of pizza while eating in her cafeteria. "I got the idea from my parents who always complain about their insurance rates. My idea was that they would save some money and then I might be able to get a cellphone."

When reminded that she was only 10 years old, Sutton said, "that doesn't mean anything since people believe anything on the Internet. I didn't expect my idea to catch on so quickly, but word spreads quickly. Ugh...can I have another chocolate milk please?"

Apparently, the Insurance agency that was going to, market the policy was fictitious. "I just made that name up," Sutton said. "It was the name of our dog who died last year and I wanted to see his name on the Internet."

Sutton also said that she knows very little about insurance, but hopes to take some classes about insurance when she is in Junior High School.

West Virginia Governor Gale Catlett said his office was getting hundreds of calls per day from inquiring consumers around the country, who thought the concept was real. "I sure couldn't tell them that some fifth grader made it all up," Catlett said. "I have been telling people that Miss Sutton was just a misguided juvenile with a big imagination. But I give her credit, because she still has all of her teeth, which is rare here in West Virgina. It seems like all we are known for is slums and that damn movie "Deliverance.""

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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