Written by Pointer
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Topics: Guns, Virginia Tech

Thursday, 19 April 2007

image for Candidates Step Up to Demand Gun Control in the Turbulent Wake of VT Massacre
Columbine ghost appears on Virginia Tech campus

Candidates for both parties' nominations have shocked the nation by their brave insistence that America abandon its gun culture once and for all. Republican McCain demanded in a post 4-17-07 campaign speech that we must stop the killings while still protecting the privacy and 2nd amendment rights of mass murderers. Rudy "9-11" Guliani deplored the loss of innocent life while insisting that the nra is right that Americans with handguns could have stopped the World Trade Center disaster.

Democrat Clinton called for a National Day of mourning but reflected that if only she had a gun of her own a few years ago she may have been able to erase from her life a persistent millstone around her candidacy's neck. Barack Obama insists that gun control is a white supremacist plot to disarm the black man. John Edwards made a statement from under the hairdrier at the beauty parlor but the noise of the machine drown out his declaration.

The only candidate to make a statement that clearly responded to the national gun emergency was PrezMinister hopeful and aspirant to be Prince Billy's Queen, ET McCrone."Take the "r" out of nra. These ideologues block us with their billions from tracing bullets, protecting cops from armor-penetrating bullets and banning assault rifle weapons of mass destruction. Kick their red-neck asses out of peace-loving America!"

President Bush was not available forcomment as he was guest speaker at the Guns R US national convention.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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