Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 18 April 2007

image for Larry Birkhead slams Virgie Arthur: "I ain't no gay sperm donor!"
"a gay sperm donor ...whose semen was cynically harvested by the former Playboy stripper"

Nassau. Bahamas - (Ass Mess): Larry Birkhead has hit out at a smear campaign that says he is a gay sperm donor chosen by Anna Nicole Smith for his girly blonde good looks, and whose semen was cynically harvested by the former Playboy stripper in a perverted bid to bolster her widow's claims to the late J Howard Marshall estate.

"Can't imagine who is spreading this muck," Birkhead said today.

"Can't imagine who would be sick enough, desperate enough to up their press interview fees, to put about a story like that.

"Mrs Arthur? Well, she's been very polite and affectionate to me on a one to one.

"Sure I've heard that some California barman has said Virgie paid him $10,000 to say I'd slept with him. And then given several sperm-filled condoms to Anna Nicole to fulfil her fantasy.

"Now who is the sicko? The one peddling this fantasy or the person who paid him to invent it?"

But Virgie Artjur's attorney has vigorously defended her client saying she's a God-fearing woman who is guided by the Lord:

"She truly cares," said lawyer Debra Rose.

"She deeply cares. Her faith in God leads her to believe that at the end of the day she will be in a Godly position to assist with raising her granddaughter according to the Scriptures and according to what the Lord says would be right for her.

"The small matter of her having been estranged from her daughter for the last seven years is a mere detail.

"It is true that Anna Nicole repeatedly told the Florida cops that her mother is the most perverted, criminally sick old hag she had ever had the misfortune to be related to.

"And we are aware that Ms Arthur, a former Texas police officer, was fortunate enough to secure Federal support in excising her own criminal records to thwart her daughter's allegations.

"But she is a truly religious woman who deserves all the attention and $$$$$$ that her baby grand daughter might soon inherit once the California courts rule in her favor."

Judge Larry Seidlin is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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