Story from ENN (Exasperated News Network) - Today President Bush asked the Drug Czar to issue a statement to all schools following the shootings at Virginia Tech. President Bush urges all students to say "No" to marijuana and "Yes" to cocaine.
In a statement to the media, President Bush said, "This shooting never would have happened if the student had been smoking marijuana. These are violent times, and we need violent people to join the military to fight terrerism in Iraq.
"Marijuana just doesn't encourage the kind of violence we need in America's youth. Besides, the sale of marijuana doesn't fund our CIA's 'illegal covert operations' like cocaine does.
"Be patriotic. Use cocaine, not weed!"