(Under the Dome) -- Speaker of the House of Reprehensitives, Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) speaking in response to the tragic shooting in Virginia amid early reports that an Asian MAN was responsible, proposed the banning of men from campus. "Guns don't kill people, men kill people." she said through an aide watching reruns of The L Word.
Elsewhere, there was a call for a 5-day waiting period before males were allowed on campus. NIH scientists said that an outright banning might be an overreaction and unnecessary as testosterone levels could be adjusted to make males, acceptable on campus. "Fine arts majors could be admitted early on to roam freely," said one bystander, "with English majors next, followed by arts, then science majors." It was unclear when football players would be permitted on campus, if ever.