Early this morning, Dick Cheney was rushed to the hospital, having severe abdominal pains. Suspecting that he had swallowed another roll of hundred dollar bills, they quickly rushed him into emergency surgery.
After determining that Vice President Cheney had not swallowed any money this time, they decided to do exploratory surgery on his intestinal tract. Doctors were shocked to find an extra-terrestrial residing in Cheney's intestines.
President Bush rushed to the hospital when he heard the news and had the extra-terrestrial arrested as an illegal alien. The E.T. was quickly arrested by the Secret Service and taken to an undisclosed location where they said the alien terrorist would be tortured.