Washington DC - (Ass Mess): UK Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown's frequent trips to the International Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlement - a.k.a. the World Bank - may have been more for pleasure than purely business according to private investigators' reports into Paul Wolfowitz's lovelife which found that the two men were both shagging the same woman currently mired in controversy over salary earnings way above her remit as an IMF hooker.
The World Bank CEO has been accused of ensuring his girlfriend Shaha Rilza - a scion of the eponymous cigarette paper manufacturing company - was systematically promoted into high-flyer salaried jobs after initially being hired as a manicurist in the World Bank's laundry division.
Part of her duties entailed customer liaison which in Washington-speak meant fellating foreign finance ministers into making favorable budgetary adjustments to fund the Iraq war.
Wolfowitz was so pleased with the results that he got Rizla a top-paid sinecure at the State Department where her legendary oral skills were soon recognised and utilised across the diplomatic spectrum.
This weekend Gordon Brown met with President Bush in Washington in a desperate bid to shore up the mess which threatens to hit the international headlines ahead of Monday's Senate Committee interrogation of witless US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.
What his wife Sarah will say when the UK tabloids get hold of the pics of her husband being pleasured in a Washington sauna by the sultry Rizla is anybody's guess.