Written by KEN RYNNE
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Topics: America, Iraq

Saturday, 14 April 2007

image for To Reduce US Unemployment, Iraq to Become 51st State, "Bushmania"
Afterbirth of a Nation

(EXCLUSIVE TO THESPOOF.COM) -- In an aside during his weekly radio address to the nation ("Winning the War, Episode 1,267"), President Bush let the proverbial cat out of the bag.

With microphones still turned on, THE DECIDER greeted longtime supporter and Texas Oilman Slippery Silvertooth there for a tour and raffle for ambassadorship, "Dang! Belgium is already gone?! Sh-eeee-it!", and reassured his old friend (read: enabler) by confiding that he would be a shoe-in as governor of a new 52th state "where your expertise would be invaluable."

Observers noted that oil, gambling and prostitution states are already staffed by loyal Bushie Republican governors. Doodled drafts on stationery found in White House wastebaskets trying various fonts, sizes, and colors on the themes of Iraqia, Chevronia, Syriana (it's been done) New Texas, and finally, Bushmania, confirmed for this reporter, that they are finally going to do it.

The President's Council of Economic Advisors & Kegmeisters met through the night and to some in the rooms it became clear -- the 51st state would be a win-win adding to national resources and alleviating unemployment bym, as they say, increasing both the numerator and the denominator. And by the time anyone knows just what they are talking about, it will be 2009 and the Bush Administration would have succeeded in rewriting the political rule (If you break it, you bought it) known as the pottery barn rule, to read, "if you break it, you regift it."

As Brother Vonnegut would say, So it goes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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