George W. Bush, President of the United States, made what he considers his most important speech today from the Oval Office. Bush did this on Friday, so as not to pre-empt coverage of his new favorite show, "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader."
In his address to the American people, he referrenced a speech made by one of his predecessors. "When he went to Germany in the 60's to protest the Russian take-over, President Kennedy said, "Sticky bun in Berliner." This meant he was telling the world that he was a resident of Berlin and felt their pain."
"Today, I tell all Americans the we are all Nappy Headed Ho's. We feel the pain of those spearchuckers that Don Imus insulted so callously. We share the hurt of those poor jungle bunnies who were cut to the core by his remarks. We weep with all the velcro hairs at Rutgers, and all over the country. Them tar babies did nothing to deserve the remarks of a DJ who should have been rejoicing at their triumph of reaching the national championship game. I ache for the hearts of these little monkeys and their mothers, because probably none of them have any clue who their fathers are, unless they're in Attica or SingSing or something."
"Anyway, just like John F. Kennedy said to the German people, I say it to the darkies at Rutgers: Sticky bun in Nappy Headed Ho!"