WASHINGTON D.C.--(WAR BEAT) One day after being fired from his 30 year gig at CBS Corp., Don Imus got a call from his country to be the new face and communicator for the war effort in Iraq. President George W. Bush himself gave the spooky grey-haired DJ the call from the White House. The Commander-in-Chief remarked, "I felt a bit sorry for the old fool for stepping & falling into that Nappy Headed Ho! He should of used "My Nigga Basketball Bitches", "Nappy Headed O...prah's" or March Madness Mama's". Oh well, at this point it's water under the bridge of racism, But, I figured, Hey, I may need him for the war effort."
The sourpuss of shock radio, Imus, was once Time magazine's 25 Most Influential People in the USA and a member of the National Broadcasters Hall of Shame, His career began in the 1970s and with a drug & booze-fueled psycho humor. After sobering up, he settled into a mix of mumbling talk about politics & culture, with women's locker room humor tossed in.
BSNBC and C more BS suspended Imus for one week, but, the crap only grew. He was then tossed out the door so quickly that he had to do his last show from an BSNBC studio - even though BSNBC wasn't televising it - then was booted in the middle of an annual five-day radiothon to raise money for Bastard Children Who Beg Charities. Imus' wife, Derriere, and his buddy & side pain, Charles McCord, were called in to pretend to do the show for him Friday.
In his new role for the U.S Government, Imus, will give daily press conferences on the state of our troops and any thing IRAQ. Giving President Bush more time for golf and clearing out shrubs at his Texas ranch. Imus, already well known to the press corp, can vacillate on and on till the press get tired and leave for the donut & coffee table outside in the hallway.
Publicity shots were taken yesterday afternoon hours after the firing. New posters were hurried to the printers and delivered before the Democratic whiners in congress had a chance to say anything. The President looked up from his paper & crayon activity book long enough to say, "Who knew that these three special words which are a shame for some people turn out to be a boom for others". Bush holds up his drawing and says, "Do you like it? It's a Nappy Headed wHOr-sey!"