Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for Johnny Cash House Gutted By Barry Gibb
Where's a fire hydrant when you need one?

The lakeside Tennessee home of late country music superstar Johnny Cash has been destroyed in a fire.

The house burned down on Tuesday when new owner, Bee Gee Garry Bibb, lost his temper during renovation work.

Bibb, who had several hits in the 1970s including "Tragedy" and "Stayin' Alight", argued with builders over a design issue, telling them that he wanted them to recreate the look of his childhood 2-up 2-down ramshackle hovel in the run-down Chorlton-cum-Hardy area of Manchester, England.

When Project Manager, Clive Arson told him it wasn't possible to duplicate such a look, the two entered into a war of words, calling one another "Tossers".

Shortly after the builder left the site, neighbours noticed flames leaping out of the windows, and called the Fire Department, but, by the time they arrived, cinders were all that was left of the property.

Police have interviewed both Bibb and Arson about the fire, but are thought to be paying particular attention to two of the Bee Gee crooner's songs from early in his career as evidence of his involvement.

Tennessee Police Commissioner Hank Erchief told reporters:

"I Started A Fire and I Don't Want To Live In This Dump are the two tunes we are interested in."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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