Written by writingguy
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Wednesday, 11 April 2007

image for "Nappy Headed Hos!" A New Breakfast Cereal From Don Imus

You'd think after all the bad press Don Imus has been receiving he'd try to lay low for a while - But Don Imus is not that kind of racist.

Thursday morning, Imus held a press conference to unleash his new breakfast cereal, "Nappy Headed Hos!". The cereal boasts 10% of your daily required asshole, and says that it's 'part of a healthy racist'.

"Kids love this stuff, and their parents love the wholesome bigot nutrition they get from it. " said Imus.

But, contrary to the name, the cereal is completely white.

"Yep, all white. If it was of any color it'd just seem wrong associating myself with it." said Imus.

And he didn't stop there. The cereal is also hand made by white employees wearing white t-shirts. Upon entering the factory, you encounter a large sign saying "ETHNICITY FREE ZONE", followed by an enormous statue of the thinker with a thought bubble enclosing the words "If Jesus was black he wouldn't have been named Jesus".

10% annoying, 50% offensive, and 100% Don Imus.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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