Embattled Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove allegedly spiked a punch bowl with LSD at a White House gathering this afternoon, according to several reporters at the scene.
"There's absolutely no truth to that statement at all", Rove said from behind a rose-colored plexiglass mirror. "If the reporters took anything at all then it was because they brought the stuff in themselves".
"I think it's just the booze getting to them", said a naked stuffed bear from beneath a large cylindrical table in the dining hall.
Several reporters were unable to handle the large megallanic cloud which suddenly arose from the rotunda. Grooviness was all around as we watched the sun change color several times. Such a nice purple sky!
Several fairies were seen dancing across the newly mowed rug as the shapes changed and someone put on Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Scooter Libby help assemble the various unpixled shots that were effervescent in the light of the glowing marbles.
FAR OUT DUDES SAID SOME EXTREMELY FAT GUY WHO NEARLY ENVELOPED THE ROOM!!! PIXIES ARE COOL!!! NAKED CHICKS!!! BRITNEY SPEARS VAGINA!!! GOT ANY MORE OF THAT DUDE ??? WATCH THE FUCKING WALL MELT DUDES!!! WHO IS THAT GREEN GUY???
About 12 hours into the gathering most of the reporters were no longer seeing egg shaped cyclones and the buzz began to die down.
"Where's Rove?" asked former New York Times reporter Kurt Eichenwald.
"He was here just a minute ago" replied Associated Press Writer Nedra Pickler as she attempted to stuff her enormous breasts back into her blouse.
Actually Rove had slipped out of the function several hours ealier with naked pictures of most of the reporters saying he planned on using these photos to improve his public image. The press has remained quiet on the matter.
Except for me.