The Rose Garden, April 7 -- Newly-named Ambassador to France Barney (R-Terrier) strenuously denied charges that he discharged "all over the oval office."
The claim, reported in the prestigious and popular, TheSpoof.com, had the Scottish Terrier and Bush loyalist visibly shaken.
"I smell something very bad here, it smells like, hmmmm, smells nutty, yes, Democratic doo doo," sniffed the First Pet. "Why, the very thought of soiling the presidential carpet - and the expense of cleaning it - makes my Scottish blood boil," growled the new diplomat.
"And if I catch the bitch that started this rumor, this dirty trick, well, if I were not a gentleman, I would, I would, I would lift my leg sir!"
The press conference ended abruptly when a White House attendant jerked the Ambasador's chain.