Written by Trevelyan
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Saturday, 7 April 2007

image for Bush announces complete troop pullout.
Bush is excited about new Iraqi plan

President Bush's announcement that he will immediately pull all US soldiers out of Iraq was met with thunderous applause from the entire Congress. That applause, however, was to be short lived.

It died right around the time he said why he is pulling all the troops out. He wants to re-arm and re-dress them to look like gunslingers, cowboys, and regulators. They will then be sent back in on horseback. The President explained to a shocked Congress, "Well, yesterday me and Dick were playing Cowboys and Damn Hippies and an idea struck me. Now, after I was assured by the White House doctors that this is normal and wasn't in fact aliens attempting to steal my mind I wrote it down."

Bush then stood slack jawed at the podium until someone asked if he cared to expand on that, "Oh sure. You see, I got to thinking about how the cowboys took what was rightfully ours from those Indians and Mexicans. You see, I believe that we can use the same strategy in Iraq but instead of land it'd be oil."

The plan calls for the immediate and total pull out of all American troops back to their home bases. From there every one will be re-outfitted in Hollywood-ish cowboy outfits. These will include a horse, leather chaps over blue jeans, a six shot single action revolver and a bed roll. The troops will then be redeployed back to Iraq and tasked with, quote, "Winning back the West....I mean Iraq".

The President expressed confidence that this plan would work were all of his others have failed. As such he issued the orders to carry it out despite the protests and resignations of the entire Joint Chiefs of Staff.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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