Written by KEN RYNNE
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Friday, 6 April 2007

image for Turin Shroud Proves Osama & Jesus Brothers Says Titanic Director Cameron
Wanted For Questioning (Last Available Photo)

Hollyweird April 6 -- Titanic Director, theologian, & Geraldo-wanna-be James Cameron will release an Easter-eve featurette on You-Tube that proves conclusively that Jesus of Nazareth and Osama Bin Laden of the Riyadh & Geneve Bin Ladens are brothers.

Cameron will take his loyal viewers and other insomniacs to yet another examination of The Holy Shroud of Turin, pulled down for an annual look-see by the faithful, the agnostics, and conspiracy-theorists the world over. "Is it any coincidence that Bin Laden is wearing a 46Long wrap similar in many respects to the Turin cloth?" asked the inquisitive Cameron. "I think NOT," he quickly added.

Mr Cameron's Production Assistant's Assistant Muffy something added, "And then there is like,the beard. JC had a beard, UBL has a beard. Long hair, check; tall, check; charismatic, check; male, check; unmarried, check; middle eastern, check; mother thinks he's God, check;
predominantly all-male followers, check; public man who valued his privacy/down-time, check; often discussed, but very rarely seen, check.I mean, like, D'uh!" she concluded conclusively.

Rev. Fr. Dr. Jules P.D.Q. Walsh, AMDG, PhD, a well paid advisor to Mr Cameron commented that "in a symbloic but nevertheless very real sense then, it can truly be said that J'shwa and Obama were related in the "brotherhood of man," and are ergo, "brothers." "Did I say Obama? Well yes, Obama and Osama, Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Karl - it's all the same!" he pronounced as he careened around the craft services table of fine single malt scoth whiskeys, fine cuban cigars, and unaccompanied Christian archeology groupies. "We're all brothers!" he exclaimed as he skipped out of sight with the Production Assistant's Assitant's Driver.

James Cameron's Easter Special: "He Ain't WANTED, He's My Brother." (120 seconds) on the You Tube Network.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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