A small, single-engine airplane taking part in the Good Firday mile-high love-in crashed this afternoon after a fire was reported in the cockpit of the airplane. The plane, flown by Capt. Buckley E. Filbertamous of Hollywood, was making its way over the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range when it caught fire.
It wasn't known what caused the cockpit to catch on fire, but evidence points to the fact that pilot Filbertamous and co-pilot Matt "Crusty" Morgan may have distracted possibly by one of the stewardesses of the airplane before she went down, the aircraft that is.
"I was just flying like I normally do," said Filbertamous, "when I felt her grab the throttle and shift it into high gear. Apparently, after a few moments, it became stuck in this position as Crusty and I tried to loosen it her up with Vaseline. That's when the fire started."
Fundamentalist ministers in the South warned that the airplane and the stunt was the work of the devil. And that the aircraft was in jeopardy of going down before it even left the ground.
Filbertamous insisted, though, that it was human error and said that there may have been some foreshadowing of the impending disaster after hearing one of the passengers sang the wrong song.
"Everyone was singing Kum Ba Ya, Blowing in the Wind, Amazing Grace like they were supposed to," said Capt. Filbertamous, "but I heard one of the passengers confuse the lyrics of If I Had a Hammer with John Henry. And as we all know John Henry was the one who died with his hammer in his hand."
Miraculously, the pilot and co-pilot were not harmed in the crash, probably because both don bumper stickers on their cars that read "God is my co-pilot." The rest of the crew and passengers, though having intercourse, were not as fortunate.
"At least they died doing something they all enjoyed in their lifetime," said one observer from the Midwest."
The mile-high love-in was organized by actor, Ralph Fiennes to raise awareness for the salvation of the state of Ohio's godless eleven million residents as reported by satiric writer and prolific wit, Queen Mudder of the daily Ass Mess.
Other godless states such as Michigan, Alaska, Indiana and California are also said to be participating.