Brinford, SC - A high-ranking member of the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) announced to his wife today that he would be spending the summer working on his tan.
"I mean, look at me," exclaimed Leroy Skinner, 33, a Grand Knight of the Klan. "I'm as white as a freakin' ghost! I done look like Casper in a cotton gin!"
Skinner says that he needed to "get some rays so's I won't look like a snowflake in a milk factory."
Skinner, who once spent jail-time after an attempted lynching of a black man, says he was embarrassed for people to see how pale he was.
"How can I go to Klan meetings lookin' like this?" Skinner asked his wife. "The other fella's will done laugh me out of the meetings. And when we rally down main street, whatcha' think everyone 'ill say? They'll say, 'Hey! Look at skinny Skinner! He's so skinny and pale, he looks like a sucked on candy-cane!'"
Skinner vowed that he would get a better tan than even his wife, who seemed to tan more easily than he did.
"You just wait, Harriett," Skinner told his wife. "I'm gonna' get sucha' good tan I'll look like a chocolate-mocha latte in a dark theatre at night!"