Written by Trevelyan
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Tuesday, 3 April 2007

image for Scienctists discover shocking fact about cancer.
California not favorite state of mice.

Scientists working on a joint team from the Centers for Disease control and the EPA have announced a shocking find concerning cancer. California is the cause of at least 90% of all cancer in the U.S.

It has been known for years that many products come with stickers saying "This product is known to the state of California to cause cancer". Enough interest to start this research was generated when a water bottling plant in California had to start putting the classic warning on its bottles of water.

After only a few days of research the scientists were shocked at what they found. Anything that had come from California caused cancer in mice after only a limited amount of exposure. Baffled by this the scientists went to California to field test. Scientist were once again shocked, all of the mice they brought with them instantly had cancer once they crossed the state line.

Head of the joint team, Lisa Renfrew explains, "We were shocked when all of the samples that were sent to the CDC labs in Georgia from California caused cancer in lab mice. Thinking that the samples must have been somehow contaminated on the way into the lab we decided to do field research. However, we didn't need to. We got all the results we needed when we crossed over the California state border, all our mice had cancer!"

The EPA scientists attached to the team did tests and discovered that cancer was found in mice only after they were moved completely across the border. However, they also discovered that crossing back over the border in the other direction did nothing to counter act the cancer. Fearing that California could be contaminating wild life and people from other states that happen to cross its borders and then go back into their own states, the EPA is set to recommend that it be broke off from the rest of the US and allowed to either float free or be sunk.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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