Written by Trevelyan
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Monday, 2 April 2007

image for Hillary Clinton already locking in votes.
Hilary Clinton warms up crowd with knock knock joke.

Even though she isn't officially running for election in 2008 yet, Hillary Clinton is already locking in votes from a key group of voters. Her target audience? Feminists.

The message she is sending to feminists is simple. She promises to finally bring about gender equality. Her plan to do this is equally as simple. Possession of a penis and testicles will be outlawed if she is elected President. This crime will carry a punishment of 3 years in prison and make those found guilty ineligible to hold any public or civil office.

During a press conference Mrs. Clinton had this to say, "Having a penis is an unfair advantage. It allows men to pee standing up saving them time, they don't have to deal with monthly cramps, and they're less prone to reproductive related health issues."

Mrs. Clinton went on by saying that testosterone, the male hormone produced in large quantities by the testes, is also unfair. "I mean, it's a hormone for crying out loud," she exclaimed, "we don't let our athletes compete with hormones in their system as it gives them an unfair advantage, it's the same thing with men and testosterone." While she did not come right out and say so, Mrs. Clinton strongly suggested that this would be one of the major platforms for her campaign, and expressed confidence that she had the feminist vote.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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