Written by The Noosance
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Sunday, 1 April 2007

image for Study Shows Men Who Cheat on Wives Make Better Presidents
Blair congratulates Clinton on his playing around

A recent study at Johns Hopkins University showed a distinct correlation between strong, decisive leaders and presidents who commit adultery.

"FDR, JFK and William Jefferson Clinton immediately come to mind," said the head researcher. "I would say that from the current crop of potential nominees, John McCain, Rudy Guiliani and Newt Gingrich show the most promise."

When rationalizing his past, John McCain said, "Though cheating on my wife went against my nature, I knew one day I might want to seek the presidency."

Guiliani proclaimed, "Regrettably for my family, I was thinking of my country first."

Newt Gingrich theorized, "Sure I screwed around on my wife while she had cancer, but my mistress was America."

The researcher said he thought the current crop of Democrats were all too faithful to be commander in chief. As a result, it is said that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are considering potential partners to commit adultery with.

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